I'm falling in love with summer and it's not even fully summer yet. I just realized another thing as I'm typing this, I'm falling in love with summer because this is the first time that I've had the kind of freedom I do now since the summer when I was 15. Ohmygoodness. That was the last summer I spent being outside, playing, and reading. Ugh, I read so much that summer. 

So here you are, coming up on a day that celebrates the magic of mothers but every card you pick up doesn’t feel right. You don’t feel like there's a card that says I love you, but I’m hurt, and I don’t feel this magic or connection with you—but I’m not supposed to say that because you gave me life.

I wanted Glennon and Elizabeth gilbert to share their stories because I wanted to know I wasn’t alone. I wanted to see women I admire, women who looked like me, talk about this different love. I needed it to know that I would be okay. Logically knowing I’m never alone, but in matters of love, when you’ve felt broken for so so long and you just want something to make sense, you want to find home within other people's stories. You want connection. You want to not feel broken.

If you find yourself being short with people and holding back how you feel because it feels vulnerable, scary and uncomfortable, I get it  . You're not alone. But...you kinda, gotta take action so the same behaviors don't keep showing up and so you can actually be IN your relationship/friendships etc. 

Six years ago I called my dad and told him that I wanted to start a business online that worked solely with women. I told him that I wanted to create what I needed, what I couldn't find.

A place for women to learn how to create healthy relationships with food, movement and their body. A place where women were guided 1:1 in a safe space, without judgement. A place where women could be met where they're at.

Your journey back to self won't ever be found in MyFitnessPal or a workout program. It will be found when you tune in, challenge the beliefs you have about your life, and begin to rewrite your story. 

I played with his hair. Which is long, that he wears in a bun. 

He looked up at me, while I ran my fingers through his hair and I don't know what he was thinking, but all I know is that it felt like he was looking right into me. I wanted to look away because it  felt so intimate but I didn't.
 

Unconditional love can change your life. And I hate saying that, because it's like did I need them to love me, to see myself more clearly? I don't know, I don't think so. It's not her love that helped me arrive to a deeper sense of home, and love within my life and body. But it was the freeness of it  that offered me a a gentleness with inside of myself. 

It wasn't the cheese board itself that brought upon this moment, though that was phenomenal. It  was the fact that for most of my life, I had spent so much time thinking about my body, or what someone else was thinking about my body (which they probably weren't at all.), that I hadn't ever just lived. 

The night before the movie released and I couldn't take it anymore, I was a volcano about to erupt and I broke up with my then boyfriend. It was a long time coming, but I had to do it because it just wasn't right anymore. It had nothing to do with the release of the movie, just a woman who was tired of being a ghost in her own body.