There are a few powerful things that shame does to you.
It closes you off from those you love most, because shame thrives in secrecy.
Shame also makes you feel flawed and unworthy, void from belonging.
One thing it doesn’t do, is drive you closer to your health and fitness goals.
I know you think that if you use the shame from ‘failing’ your last diet to propel you into your new one, you’ll be powerful and more successful.
However, shame isn’t the fuel that ignites your success. It’s secretive, disempowering, and a shitty mode of transportation to feeling more at home in your body because there’s only so far it can take you.
As much as you try, you can’t hate yourself thin. You can certainly try, but what if you stopped trying—winding up in the same place over and over again. And perhaps worked on navigating your food, movement self love journey through by the forces of compassion, instead of shame?
Compassion asks us to see our suffering with kindness. Much as you’d see a homeless man on the street, and think “wow, life must be so hard for him. Does he have a blanket at night? Is he okay? Does he need food?”.
Compassionate thinking allows us to see the moment we’re in, for you this may be right now—after your last seemingly ‘failed’ attempt at dieting, and be moved by your own suffering. Don’t mistake this for a pity party, compassion is not pity.
When your best friend comes to you and says “I fucked up. I cheated on my boyfriend, and I feel disgusting. “ You see her pain yes? You don’t say “KAREN YOU DUMB BITCH!”. Well, that isn’t the first thing you say at least. You hold her in her pain, and see her without judgement.
You, yourself, are NOT the exception to this loving kindness you so freely have within you. You aren't that special that you aren’t just as human as Karen is to accept this kindness.
Can you see your pain, or your believed to be short comings, and look at them through a lense of compassion this week?