I'm frequently asked what my favorite __________ is. Be it a movie, book, author or so on—people ask, and I love talking and sharing about the things that fire me and have had some kind of impact on my life. So I decided to make a a little hub where all of my favorites live. I'm going to keep this post as updated as possible.
So that's why this story of being rejected by a guy stems from what I've gotten out of my fitness journey. Don't get your panties in a bunch, my courage and confidence that I've gained from this journey go way further than just being used to talk to a man. But, It blows my mind how the one decision to pick me, choose me and commit to myself, has resulted in a confident woman who is learning to love herself more and more everyday.
I was also packing my bags, leaving my ex-husband.
I was also starving.
I was also weighing every green bean and grape that entered my mouth.
I also thought I was fat & hated myself. Yes, in this picture I truly thought I needed to be smaller. My heart hurts as I type this, but what I saw--is not what I know you see when you look at that.
I was starving. I was unhappy. I was starving. I was miserable.
A year ago I stumbled upon my new gym home The Human Form. It was by accident, literally. I came here with a friend because she was going to meet a guy who worked there (who I later ended up dating), I was terrified for her that she was going alone so I came with her--what do you mean you're going to an empty gym alone to meet a man from the internet? I ended up landing the internship of a lifetime there and that's now where I do all of my personal training.
My first week there I watched the owners, Stephen and Michelle make smoothies pretty much everyday. I remember it like it was yesterday that they put 1/2 and avocado, 1 whole banana and some other fruit in there. There was also protein and veggies but all I could think about was how in one smoothie, they just consumed almost all of my fat intake for the day and about 3/4 of my carbs.
I was counting my macros and eating 25g of fat + 100g of carbs a day.
It was then, as the people I admired so much--and my boyfriend at the time, drank their smoothies--that I knew something was wrong with me.
Counting my macros was not healthy for me. I saw food in numbers and not for fuel. I was fearful of 5 extra grams of fat per day. Simultaneously I was binging like crazy because I was eating such a limited amount of food. Even with counting my macros, I was going crazy and living an extremely unhealthy life.
I vowed to myself that I would stop counting and start focusing on eating whole foods mindfully.
Having not done that though for 2 years, and just entering a new relationship, I ate. My now ex-boyfriend loved cooking for me, and I loved that he wanted to. It was all insanely healthy but I had been use to eating practically nothing and being hungry 24/7, so when I began to eat meals with him I was not only eating good stuff--I was eating his size portions of good stuff. I knew I was probably eating too much for my body, but for so long all I could think about was my next meal and a this point I no longer knew what enough (truly enough) looked like for my body.
I ate out at restaurants, for the first time in so long. I ate food I loved, I tried new things and eventually I stopped being so afraid of food.
It took me almost a year to come to a place where I know I'm okay without counting.
Last July I weighed a low of 120lbs. In December of this year I tipped the scale at my highest of 158.
That crushed my soul because I knew that while I finally felt truly strong for the first time ever, a lot of that weight came from not honoring my body through food. Which was really hard to swallow for me.
But something else happened.
Part of me wanted to hide because I knew how lean I could be, I knew where I had once been. But as I reflected on that, I realized that I was starting to love my body where it was. Even at 158. In the picture below I was 158, but I had never felt more sexy and confident in my life. That's what most women and competitors say though. "I love my curvy body". Most say it because they know what is happening and they are ashamed. And I was, I fought myself daily to love this body. But when I allowed myself to start letting that love be okay--what happened was magical.
In the beginning I felt that I could only love myself at 120 because 120 meant abs. I thought that 158 equaled that I was fat, not worthy of love. I based my love with myself on my gravitational pull with the universe.
Something clicked though, I started to be able to grab my butt. I had legs that didn't look like you could break them in half.
I finally, FINALLY realized that beauty, confidence and feeling sexy had nothing to do with abs. That it is OKAY to love your body without it looking like the cover of Oxygen Magazine.
So this year I gained 40lbs. I was recovering from an eating disorder that consumed every part of my being. The weight I gained wasn't all healthy, a lot of my old habits came up many times. This 40lbs is made up of learning how to eat for my body, honoring it through eating intuitively, and sometimes it was made up of ED mindset setbacks.
40lbs is a lot, I don't say that with rainbows and butterflies shooting out of my ass. But speaking of ass, I have one now. I have many things now that I choose to break society's version of beautiful and decide I was beautiful on my own.
Now, out of curiosity, I weighed myself and am chillin at 143. I love myself more at 143 than I ever did at 120. Because a number doesn't decide you're confident or beautiful--you decide that.
143 is good. My ED mindset isn't there, I can wake up and eat the foods I love that simultaneously fuel me and leave me feeling good. I can look in the mirror with a deep acceptance and love for my body. I'm actually strong. I can lift heavy shit well. I don't have dark circles under my eyes, I don't run out of energy in my workouts, I'm happy.
Strong Curves + radical self love VS. weak, extreme hate for my body.
I am beautiful because I decided I was. The freedom and confidence that came with that is earth shatteringly beautiful.
There are still days I feel my self love tank is dipping low, but I know now that self love is a choice and most importantly a journey, not an end goal.
So if you feel like you're struggling with self love because you don't look like a model, I challenge you to be okay with being a bit of a rebel and allowing yourself to decide what your version of beautiful is.
With a whole lot of love, shaky fingers and vulnerability,
"Love yourself" "It doesn't matter what you look like, you should love yourself"
I understand the logic of this advice, but telling someone to simply love themselves is not enough. While it's so easy to spew out of your mouth, it's not easy to apply to your life. Society tells you to love yourself while simultaneously telling you to be smaller, be skinny, be confident but not to much. So in the middle of this message telling you to love where you're at, they're also telling you that you aren't good enough where you're at.
Loving yourself requires you to step out of a victim mentality. No one wants to hear that, but it is so true. It is easier to throw ourselves a pity party, complain, pick ourselves, and stay in our bubble of sadness and comfort that we've created from feeling inadequate, not worthy and not lovable. Maybe you haven't felt all of those things, or any of them. Regardless, stepping into the power and magic of loving yourself is somehow scarier and harder than staying choosing to be unhappy and in a place with little to no self-love.
Maybe you don't realize that happiness is a choice, that self-love is something you can cultivate on your own without anyone deciding it for you. Maybe you don't realize that you've stayed in a place of comfort, that isn't healthy for you physically or emotionally.
So here is how you can begin to step into your power of radical self-love.
1.) Become Whole On Your Own: When your joy, self-worth, confidence and every other way you define yourself is rooted in the opinion, thoughts and validation of someone else, your self-love will be completely dependent on whoever that person is that you're allowing to control so much of you. Step into being true to YOU and less of what you think your boyfriend, best friend, mom, dad etc want you to be. Then you begin to love YOU for all that you are, and not all that you're pretending to be. How can you do this? You can start dressing the way you want to, saying what you want to say, doing what you want to do, chop your hair, color it pink, do you, babe.
2.) Fill Your Cup First: So this is your cup. In this cup is your joy, happiness, kindness, and love. But to me, this cup looks empty.. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong? So If this is what your cup looks like, and you're trying to love others and show them kindness, love, happiness and joy... it's not going to work really well. You can't pour into other and into life, if this is your cup. So how do you fix this? Fill your cup first. What makes you happy? What gives you joy? Do those things. Doing things that take care of YOU and make you happy will in turn leave your cup full to pour into other people. For me, I know that If I'm constantly running on empty I will crash and burn. So every morning I wake up 15 min earlier than I have to and I make my coffee + have enough to spend to drink it slowly before I begin my busy day. I carve out time on Mondays to make sure I can always go to the grocery store with enough time to not rush because I LOVE it there. No joke. I go to yoga and meditation classes frequently. All of these things fill ME up. I need time alone, and sometimes it's as simple as telling my friends I can't hang out and binge watching the new season of Orange Is The New Black while eating kale chips and drinking kombucha. That's what I need to be full. It's not a lot. But taking that "me time", allows me to pour into others from a full cup and not giving everyone the shitty part of me. What can you do that fills you up?
3.) Drop Your Victim Mentality: That's a really intense sentence to read and If I thought I could get my point across with saying it differently I would but I feel this is such a raw and real thing to understand. Check this conversation (that I made up but hear every time I see a friend or anyone with a vagina):
Girl 1: Your hair looks so pretty!
Girl 2: Oh my gosh no it's so ugly, I was on pinterest for hours and told my stylist I wanted white blond and now it's like this orange ish color and ohmygoshicantrightnow. It's so gross.
*new girl walks in*
New Girl: Girl 1, I'm so sorry DickBoyFriend broke up with you.
Girl 1: It's okay, his new girlfriend is like super into working out and I don't do that. She's got much prettier skin than mine because mine is always breaking out and he would get so embarrassed of it so it's like whatever. They are obviously better together.
I could share 500 scenarios with you, at the end of them all would be the same result. Choosing the victim mentality. For whatever reason, deciding that you aren't worthy enough and complaining about it is better than choosing a way out. A way out of hate and into radical self love. How can you fix this? Tell yourself that you have all of the power. Then fucking act like it. Instead of DickBoyFriend breaking up with you and you sitting there picking yourself apart, dissecting all of the make-believe reasons you feel he left you, allowing yourself to stay in shame, hate and pity. Step into the power of changing the story. Okay he left, now you decide that you're beautiful and because he left you doesn't make you any less beautiful.
You are not the gosh damn victim, I know that the safety of picking yourself apart is easier to stay in than clamming power and turning into a woman who fiercely loves herself. Trust me, I get it. But the only way to move out of self hate and into self-love is to decide that this is YOUR story, and you get to actively choose how you want to live it out.
Self love is an intense thing, but if you begin by applying these lifestyle changes
today, right now. Not tomorrow, I promise you will begin to see changes in your life. This wasn't a fluffy list of things that sound nice. This is a list of ways you can change your life starting RIGHT NOW.
Become whole on your own.
Fill up your gosh damn cup.
Let go of being the victim.
You can do this, I know you can. I know you can because I did. It was not rainbows and butterflies, but I was sick and tired of seeing happy women rock their life. I decided I wanted that for me, and I wanted to stop hating them for what I could have if I simply tried.
So, do you think you can try?
Are you ready to go on a journey of radical self-love?
All my love and light being sent to you as you get ready to rock the fuck out of life.
When your heart hurts, when it physically feels broken, how are you suppose to be happy? When has your heart ever hurt?
Did someone break your heart? Was someone mean to you? Did you have to break someone else's heart? Did someone leave you?
I think it's safe to say that at some point in your life, you may have experienced heart-break. I know I have.
Being the emotional woman I am, I feel things so deeply. In my gut, to my core. So when my heart hurts, my body hurts. I don't want to eat, I feel like I can't workout, my head hurts and I feel sick to my stomach.
Where Things Get Tricky
Everyday I wake up and I coach women through their health and fitness journeys. I teach them how to be confident, how to rock their body, but I also teach them how to rock life. Showing them that they are in control of their happiness.
I do, 100% believe, that you can choose joy everyday.
That's really easy to say though when you feel happy already. When life is seemingly going really well for you.
I know people have read my posts and thought "okay yeah, bitch, you're happy, we get it. I'm not and there is no way I can be." I know people have thought that, because I use to feel that way when I saw people saying what I do now.
Recently life has been teaching me a lesson I don't like. Because its hard. Maybe I'm feeling the way I do because Mercury is in Retrograde (pardon my crazy). More and more I'm being put in situations where I have to cultivate my own happiness in the midst of a shit storm. My heart is hurting and I feel vulnerable.
I had to break someones heart
I miss my son
These two things have ripped my insides apart and tossed them into the street to be driven over my a semi truck, not once, but twice.
Life is happening and I've been put in situations where I'm not "just always happy". I have to create it. I have to choose joy instead of my hurt.
You Have A Choice
You were not born to simply get hit and take it. To wallow in your sadness for the rest of your life. That is not the life you are here to live. Sad things, heartbreaking things, earth shattering and devastating things are going to happen to you and your heart will hurt so bad (though I don't wish this upon anyone).
We think we don't have a choice, that when we feel the sadness--we must stay there. That isn't the case though. Please, don't fight me on this one. We always have a choice, I think it's easier for us though, to choose sadness. Because it's familiar. It's not scary to stay in sadness. It's comforting.
The other choice though? To choose joy and gratitude. That takes stepping outside of your comfort zone, which no one really likes. We must do it though.
Because maybe through your sadness and heartbreak, the one choice you make to choose joy, will be the single moment that you grow and get stronger through whatever situation you are in. Because now you are no longer the victim, you are the mother fucking goddess who is in control and always has been--you're just not realizing it though.
We get lost, we feel sad and we give life to the story of sadness in our heads. We stay there. We just stay. We feel helpless to our pain.
When you feel heartbreak, you don't have to ignore those feelings. From a beautiful friend and a woman I look up to so highly, Stephanie Estice, she taught me that these feelings sometimes just want to be acknowledged. They don't need a new home in your heart, they don't need to stay. You can simply acknowledge where you feel this hurt in your body.
On Choosing Joy
So how do you choose joy? Once you acknowledge those feelings of hurt, and realize that you can write a different story.
Here is how I do it:
- Step one, like we talked about, acknowledge those feelings of hurt. Where are they on your body? Seriously. When I'm hurt, I feel sadness all over my body. Sometimes in my gut, sometimes a lump in my throat, sometimes my heart. Where is your hurt? Shut your eyes, acknowledge it, take 3-5 big deep breaths into that area. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
- Cry it out, dance it out, work it out, paint it out, love it out. Physically doing something that isn't focusing on the hurt is so important. When I'm hurt I don't want to workout, but what I do love is to dance. Sometimes feelings of hurt and sadness need a way out of the body, so in a way that honors your body, get that shit out.
- Meditate. Now listen, I'm not magnificent mediator. I do it because I feel more like me after. I feel centered, I feel like I can breathe without hurt again. 1 min, 3 min, 5 min, 10 min or as long as you want. Meditation isn't about how long you can sit still. There is no judgement here. I love this guided mediation from Gabrielle Bernstein. Click HERE to listen to this 5 min guided meditation.
- Attitude of gratitude. When hurt fills your heart, it's easy to focus on all the crappy things happening to you. Instead, you can make the small mindset shift to gratitude. I pick three things that I'm grateful for. Sometimes they are big things. Sometimes they are things like "I'm grateful for internet to watch Greys Anatomy". Again, there is no judgement here.
- Have a list of things that make you happy, so when you feel anything but happy, you know what to do and where to go. Write a physical list of the things that bring you joy. For me? I like going to eat alone, getting a new book, getting my nails done, going for a hike alone. All of these things bring my peace, I love them. So when I'm working to be happy again, I'll pick one of the things I know make me happy.
There are many more ways to choose joy, to become happy again when your heart hurts. I hope these few that I've shared with you help you in every way you need.
What I hope the most though, is that you realize happiness is always a choice. You don't have to be stuck in your broken heart. While there is nothing wrong with feeling sadness, sadness is not your home.
Sometimes titles for my posts come to me quickly and other times, like now, I have so much to say that I want to pull you in with but I can't fit it all..#thestruggle
While I wish I could've learned the things I'm going to talk about below in school. I won't blame school for not teaching them to me. I won't blame anyone. Because now,
I I'm learning through incredible life experiences, both good and not so good--what I've always wanted to learn. Now, I can do something about it. I can work every day through Strong Chicks Rock to teach women what I wanted to know. know
1.) Women empowerment is rad as fuck. High school Rachel didn't understand this. See, my friends lived off gossip and tearing others apart. While it never felt right to me, while I'm not proud of many of my actions in middle/high school--I let myself live in a reality I deemed normal, where if I wasn't dressed right I was looked down upon, where if we didn't gossip we didn't fit in, where the thought of supporting another girl wasn't heard of. How sad is that?
What is cooler than women joining together and supporting each other? Nothing. To let go of the need to compete, to support each others dreams and goals. To STOP bullying. To stand together and live in the awesomeness that is being a woman. Ladies let me tell you something, life isn't a competition between us all. So if I could talk to myself in high school right now, I'd say this: Support one another, be kind, encourage and support each other, don't let someone sit alone at lunch, compliment someone, speak nothing but goodness, be fucking good.
2.) LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF. I spent hundreds of dollars that I saved from working in high school to buy extensions because I thought pretty meant long hair. I thought accepted meant Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch, fancy VS underwear, highlights in my hair, eyeliner. Never did I look in the mirror and say: "Hey you beautiful girl, you are perfect just the way you are". I was so caught up in doing my hair (2 hours before school started) that I had ZERO idea of what self love even was.
Think back on your high school experience. Can you imagine the kind of life you would have lived if you had learned to love and accept yourself. Not feeling the need to change for every.single.person who made a comment about you. Not even that. Changing for what you thought people would want. Can you imagine the chain reaction that would have happened from starting to love yourself, then exuding confidence, happiness and peace? If I could talk to myself in high school right now, I'd say this: It is okay to be different, it is okay to not conform to what society says you should wear, how to act, what color to make your hair. Practice self love daily. You are allowed to love yourself.
3.) Healthy and strong aren't a joke. Though I knew better, and I have to apologize to my dad...because growing up with a strength and conditioning coach as a dad, I know what healthy is. In high school though, I went to a "normal" gym for the first time because I wanted my ex-boyfriend to see me working out. I literally would run with my bestfriend past the lacrosse field only so he could see me (yup, I was that girl). Though I knew better, I opened up Seventeen Magazine and searched for workouts, but because I had 0 self confidence and was too embarrassed to ask my brilliant dad(because in my heart--I wasn't doing this journey for me)--I went to the treadmill every time. I'm sure you know how this story continues, following the treadmill I did a few core exercise and called it a day. I didn't understand the gym, but who was I kidding. I wasn't there for me or my health.
The extent of learning about what "healthy" is, stopped in middle school after I learned what the food pyramid was--well fuck that(7-8 servings of grains a day my asshole). If you didn't play a sport you didn't learn how to workout, or what it means to be strong. Not in the sense of simply picking up a weight and putting it down, but strength in all aspects of your life. Because of fitness, because of knowing how to honor my body through food that fuels me well and through movement--I'm able to walk through life with confidence. I would have killed to feel the way I do now back in high school. I wish that someone would have talked about learning to eat healthy, not dieting, but how to honor your body with nutrient dense food. If I could talk to myself in high school right now, I'd say this: Don't be embarrassed to make healthy choices. Make this journey about YOU and no one else. Try not to fall into fads and what Seventeen says. Start moving to feel good, eat to feel good. Do those things out of an act of self love and respect
I don't share these things to diss my school, more so to speak to the women who and girls who have ever ONCE felt like I did.
I went through a lot of my life never feeling like I was enough. Like I had to change for everyone. Its not a new story. It's been told 100x over. Instead of letting it continue though, and letting the story repeat for girls for the rest of time. I want to do something about it, I want young girls, women my age and women everywhere to be able to take my stories and my past life experiences and learn from it. I want them to take the things I wish I would have learned and start making moves to change those things. How?
If you're a woman who wants to make a change in society, in how women see themselves, in how we act, do one of the following(or all--you don't need my permission):
- Be kind to women
- Let go of the need to compete with other women
- Compliment another woman
- Speak words of kindness. Gossiping needs to stop!
- Lift other women up who you admire
- Stand up for yourself
- Don't change to fit into labels you think you need to
- Practice self love (AND SHARE IT)
- Share your journey of loving yourself. It INSPIRES other women to do the same.
- Advocate for your health.
- Start to honor your body through movement and food that fuels you well
If you've ever wondered why I started SCR, what you just read about my own personal experiences with life is why.
It's not enough to go through something shitty and change then be done. To go through something shitty, change and then advocate for women to do the same--that's it. To be the change, that's why this started. Strong Chicks Rock was designed to be a community for women to grow and learn through their fitness journeys HOW to love yourself, HOW to be kind, HOW to rock your life, and HOW to create your own version of healthy. So we produce women who come out knowing their worth, loving who are they, knowing who they are and then those women inspire others to make the same change.
Will you be the change today? Will you take the reigns on your life and do something about the things you want to change?
In Light and Love,
It's Friday--WOOHO. How was your week, friends? How were you able to honor your body and goals? When I ask people that question, sometimes they just don't know how to answer. "What does honoring my body look like?", they say. This got me thinking--I'd like to do this weekly. Share how I personally honored my body and help carry the message into your life so you can focus on being aware of the choices you make, the way you think, how you move ect.
How I physically honored my body: I had 3 great workouts this week that I LOVED. I've been working out at the office in between clients, I typically have an hour break and devote 20min to movement. I pick 3 movements that I enjoy and give me everything I need in a short time. This week I set my timer for 20 min and did this for one of my workouts: 10 push ups, 10 goblet squats, 10 RDLs. I also spent some time yesterday walking around Grandview. Guys, don't brush off walking. I plugged in my headphones and jammed out to Alanis Moresette as I spent time in the sun adventuring around. Most importantly, I moved in my favorite way possible. Dancing. A shit ton of it.I'm not good and I truly don't care, I am simply IN LOVE with the way my body moves when music is on. Thats how I physically honored my body through movement this week.
How I spiritually honored my body: It bums me out to say this, but I'm seriously lacking here right now. This week I didn't wake up and meditate like I'd like to. Instead what I focused on most was being present. You'd think with the fact that I have a tattoo that says "here and now"..my visual reminder to stay present and in the now, that this would be an easy practice for me. Generally speaking, I do stay present and in the now. Recently I've been aware that I haven't, so as I refocused my mind this week, I fucking loved being fully in the now where my heart and mind like it most. I'm experiencing A LOT of awesome and new things in my life right now and with those things comes new emotions and feelings (all good, just different). Anytime I felt my mind starting to get caught up in a certain feeling or emotion--beginning to take my focus out of the now and giving life to anything that wasn't current; I quickly would stop those thoughts and truly just breathe into what was happening and instead just experience it. Not focused on what will happen next or what had just happened.
How I honored my body through nourishment: I debated putting this with how I physically honored my body because the food you eat is a direct representation of how you respect and honor your body through physical movement. However, I felt as if this topic needed a home of it's own--it's important..one of the most important ways you can honor your own body. This week I honored my body through the food I eat by truly thinking of my food as medicine. I spoke to a woman who works with females with eating disorders this week(because I do as well and enjoy picking the minds of other professionals)--she told me one tool she uses with her girls is to teach them to see food as medicine.
"Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food."-Hippocrates
She opened a new prescriptive for me. It changed things for me, and really narrowed my focus this week--not in the sense of being a crazy food nazi, but truly looking at food as medicine and not with loving googly eyes. Though I have a deep passion and love for all food, sometimes I get so caught up in my creations and cooking that I forget to take a step back and not just see food as a creative outlet but truly as medicine. So, this week I honored my body through nourishment by creating a mindset shift.
P.S- I've been really digging green smoothies again. I had so many this, even one with beets (yes--it was fucking good.) Here's my simple base recipe:
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1/2-1 cup water
- 1 cup ice
- 2-3 cups green of choice (I use spinach)
- Fruit of choice (I like bananas/blueberries)
- Fat of choice (if I'm doing banana I'll ad PB or if I'm doing berries I'll add coconut oil OR 1/2 an avocado!)
That's all she wrote friends. Now it's your turn, how can you honor your body this week? It looks different for everyone so you do you 100%. Enjoy every moment of living life creating your best YOU.
When I first started meditating I would get so upset with myself. I thought I had to shut off my inner dialogue, I would get pissed and quit when I couldn't stop the chatter. Try again, end the same. Until I really thought to myself, SO many people are doing this and are rocking true happiness and finding peace within themselves--I'm going to make this happen. I wanted what I saw everyone else had, so that was my driving motivation. Do you know what I'm going to say next? I'm sure you do. "What you seek is seeking you." Silly me, chasing what I already had.
How did I actually learn to meditate though? I tried just sitting in silence, and now I can do that. Though when I first started I used this video by Gabrielle Bernstein. I love her, and I love that this guided meditation was short and was just what I was searching for.
It's not about shutting off the noise, it's not about judging how long you can sit there for. For me, it's about connecting deeper with myself, with my light. Even those 5 short min with Gabby, I finish feeling more me.
May this video help you in every way you need.
I'll end with the prayer my dad said to me every night growing up: Let the light guide you, heal you, fill you and protect you for you highest and best good. May you have sweet sweet dreams, and may you always be safe.
Raise your hand if:
- You've ever been afraid to selfie in public
- You've been nervous to go to the gym
- Embarrassed to dance in public
- There's been a time you weren't your true self because you were afraid of what others would think
I'm sure if you were honest with yourself, there has been at least one point where one or more of those have applied to you. ALL of them described me and my life.
I wouldn't take pictures even if it was for work because I was embarrassed. #truth
I didn't work out in the gym because I thought everyone would look at me if I messed up. #truth
I lived my life in fear that If I did what I truly wanted to do someone would judge me and think I was weird. #truth
Isn't that crazy? That I lived so much of my life in fear. I know without a doubt that I am not the only person who's felt that way.
I always craved a life where I could just be myself, be carefree, not locked down by the opinions of others but I let fear stop me. Do you ever look at other girls and think "wow, I wish I could be happy or __________ like her?".
It took me a long time to figure this out. It's no secret, but it's something that I don't think women get. We may hear it and think "yeah that sounds easy enough", but to truly apply what I'm going to share with you is something that is rarely done.
Let's Jump Together
No book, movie, blog or even me can tell you "this is how you can be happy" and in an instant it will truly make you happy and be able to live carefree. That is something that has to be done on it's own. It's a choice only you can make.
Breathe into your feelings. Feel your feelings.
Let me explain:
Selife-ing in public makes you nervous right? Instead of focusing on those nerves, making them bigger and allowing them to win and shut you down from what you're about to do--FEEL IT. Acknowledge those feelings of nervousness, literally breathe in, acknowledge the knot in your stomach, then let it go.
What we typically do is feed the fear. We grow that knot in our stomachs and allow it to take over.
You know you are in control of your emotions though? Maybe you don't. Because I certainly didn't know. If I felt scared, BOOM, I was done--peace out to whatever I was about to do because I let fear have the reigns.
Something amazing happens though, we don't give up control and when we realize that there is nothing at the end of fear. Fear isn't a man chasing you with an axe. Which is how most people treat it, that if they do the thing that scares them something mentally is going to happen. Nothing will though. Well, I take it back. A sense of accomplishment will fill your heart, you confidence may rise, your belief in yourself will grow. To me, that sounds like a win.
So, how do we grow? How do we selfie in public? Dance without caring? ROCK LIFE? We feel, all the emotions. Breathe them in, don't feed them and make them bigger but acknowledge their presence and go fourth with life knowing that nothing bad will happen from doting that things that you feel are scary.
Girl, I'm about to be real. That's how I am. I don't see any good coming from sugar coating the truth or dancing around it. Here's my truth for you: You are in your own way.
In life, in health and fitness, in pretty much everything that we do.
Do any of these sound like you:
- I fell off eating healthy again
- I saw a cute guy and didn't talk to him
- I wanted to speak up but didn't
Do you notice what all of those things have in common? No outside force stopped you from doing those things. YOU did. That doesn't mean you suck, it just means that you gave into the voice in your head that wanted to win. The one that made you feel inadequate, nervous, scared.
Do you know how many times a day I hear "I fell off eating healthy again today"? I'm not upset, mad or judging this person AT ALL. I want success for not just my clients but ALL women on their health and fitness journeys because I know how hard this can be--if we allow it.
Here's The Deal
We have to stop looking at these areas in our life as a choice. YO--you have goals, you want to feel good and be the best version of YOU possible so why is it that we make our health a choice? Like WHAT????? Let's think on this for a hot second---maybe you want lose 10lbs, but you keep "falling off". First, yes--this IS a choice, to eat healthy or not. BUT..our health should be a non negotiable. Just like wiping out ass, it's really not an option to forget that if you don't want to smell and feel weird all day. That's the attitude we should have with out fitness. When that mentality is taken and put into place I truly believe you won't keep "falling off", because when the opportunity arises to fall off, you'll know it's not even a question as to what you're about to do next. You'll do the thing that makes you feel good.
I'm not saying you have to be a food Nazi AT ALL. I don't want that. I'm saying that you're not a person who "just can't stick with anything", I'm saying that there are non negotiables in life. You don't simply fall off, not speak up or not talk to that cute guy because you're a certain type of person. Those things happened because you got in your own way. Putting things like your health, speaking up for what you believe in, and wiping your ass should all be things that you just do. No matter what.
As you go through each day, know that you are in control.
If you like that boy, talk to him.
If you want to lose 10lbs, do it.
If you want to feel your best, eat right.
If you want to be confident, do it.
Create a list of your non negotiable things, that no matter what you won't falter in. Knowing those, there's no way you could fail.
I hope you rock the hell out of life today.
In Light & Love,