Is Self Love Really The Thing We Should be Working Towards?

Self love is one of the buzziest of buzz words right now in the health/wellness/fitness world. Women are buying into anything that promises them that they can love themselves deeply. I get it, in a culture where we are taught to be smaller and smaller and different and be the 'cool girl'—we begin to feel so off, so not at home in our bodies because are in constant thoughts of feeling like we need to change and be different.

The ultimate goal right? Not to hate ourselves. 

How many things have you tried in your quest for self love? Have you gotten manicures until your bank account is yelling at you? Bath-bombed yourself into silky smooth skin? Oiled yourself in so much lavender that you smell like a field of flowers? Mediated yourself into zen, or at least tried too?

You've tried a lot, I know you have. Because I know you want to feel at home in your body. 

Through the various methods you've tried to love yourself, do you feel like you're still missing something? Like the actually feeling of loving yourself?

Self Love Isn't Romantic Love

You may have done everything you possibly know how to do, but keep feeling like in a sense you are 'failing' at loving yourself, right?

The act of feeling at home, and at peace with your body has turned into something that we think needs to feel like romantic love and thats not what it is.

You do not need to adore your stretch marks or your love handles. You don't need to think they are the most beautiful things you've ever seen. No. 

That's not what I want you to seek for in your quest of love.

What I want for you to know is this:

  • Self love starts with acts of self care. Jen Comas said it best, that your acts of self care should awaken and elevate your body, mind and soul. Things that make you feel good, peaceful, happy etc. That means if getting a manicure is more stressful than peaceful, don't do it. 
  • Start to think of loving your body, as feeling at peace with it and not hating it. Asking yourself to go from hate to love in one bath bomb or manicure is impossible. But asking that you begin to not hate yourself when you look in the mirror is a start. 
  • You don't have to find every inch of your body beautiful, I just want you to not hate every inch. 

The idea that you your body love doesn't have to be large and romantic takes so much pressure off and makes it something that is honest and real. 

Most days I don't wake up thinking I'm the hottest piece of ass alive, that's not how self love works. I just feel at home in my body. It's peaceful, and so happy. The war with myself has ended and that is my love for myself. 

So it's not romantic self love we should be seeking and working towards, but more of a body peace. A feeling of home, of not hating. If you can adjust the way you see self love, your whole perspective on your body and the way you 'should' feel in it will change so much.