As a whole, women are lead to believe that we should be smaller.
God forbid you're taking up too much space in this world.
Oh, you didn't move your cart to the edge of the isle fast enough so someone could walk past you? How dare you.
You don't wear a size two....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Your idea is too far out there? Your voice, your message, all too big? Shame on you silly girl for thinking that could ever work.
I've felt this continued sense of unease recently in regards to my physical existence. I've found myself apologizing for being in peoples way. But really, is moving my cart not fast enough in the store actually a problem I should apologize for? No. I've found myself wanting to explain that I actually really adore my body even though it isn't a as small as it was last year. Holy shit, a woman can like her body outside of it fitting into size two jeans?!!!!!!!!!! I've found myself gravitating towards the corner, towards safety, towards being less--because I've felt that my bigness, my message and my voice have been too much.
I wish I could go back in time and pinpoint the moment in which I started worrying about how much space I was taking up.
Because though I don't remember, I know there was a time in my life when I didn't care how much space I took up. Maybe the last time it happened was when I was three and would actively use my voice, yell and scream and roll on the ground, dance, jump and play without apologizing.
If theres anything I could wish to go back and change, it's the first moment in which I shrank myself. But I suppose if I went back, I wouldn't be here--doing this. Fighting for women to embrace their bigness, stepping fully into their power.
All I know is that I wasn't born to shrink for your comfort.
I wasn't put on this earth, wonderfully and magically made to sit back and make myself smaller to make you more comfortable.
I am over apologizing for "being in the way". I don't see men frantically apologizing in the store for simply pushing a cart and minding their own business. But women, I've counted up to 18x how many times I've heard "I'm sorry", just for shopping at the store.
I am over trying to fit into a size two, well frankly I was over that awhile ago. But I'm over the voice that sneaks into my head making me feel as though I'm not worthy because I'm not smaller. Or "small like I use to be".
Are you over it?
Are you fucking over it like I am?
To the beautiful woman who is reading this, yes you, you are allowed to take up space. You do not need to apologize for having a voice that may seem "too big" for some. Thank god you weren't put on this earth to please that person who is offended by your bigness. That's not why you're here. You're not here to fit into a size two and just exist.
Take up space. You're allowed.
With your body, your voice, your message, your words, with all of you.
Shrinking yourself and denying the world of the gift that you are, does no one any good. Can you join me in this mission of bigness?
I'm not telling you to be a dick, don't be a dick.
Be kind, always.
But you can stop apologizing for simply existing, for breathing, for speaking up, for being different.
I take up space, and so can you.