I believe in a no BS approach to pretty much every aspect of life, especially when it comes to your mental health. There is so much noise out there on what you should or could be doing that I know you want to literally pull your hair out and just stick with hating your body because loving your body seems so complicated—girl, I get it. I want to declutter the noise, and tell you the truth. Because you deserve the whole truth and nothing but.
1. Self Love is Hard AF
At first... You've been navigating your whole life thinking that you aren't good enough. That if only you could lose 10lbs, THEN you could be happy. And now you're learning that no, that isn't intact the case. So with years and years of knowledge in your brain about diets, cleanses and things you should be doing, you now get to shed all the BS and write a new story for yourself. But it's not easy. It's powerful af to be able to write this new story, but you're going to have days where your old mindset tries to fight with you and tell you that you aren't good enough. It's so important to know that you aren't doing self love wrong if you have days where you aren't feelin yourself. Showing yourself compassion for these days and moments will get you through it, and if we're keepin it real here, you will get through it—in time, this isn't an overnight job.
2. There is no one right way to self love
You could paint your nails and have a night in, or you could set some boundaries so you stop spreading yourself so thin, you could spend more time with loved ones, dye your hair, take a bath, read a book, yell, workout, journal and literally hundreds of other things. It's all about trial and error and I know that isn't a super sexy and easy answer, but it's the truth. How one person finds peace within her body and how you do, may be light years different. Be open to different things, and continue to build your self love tool box.
3. You're going to change, be ready.
As you navigate this new journey, you may find yourself more confident and happy. You may find yourself speaking kinder to your body and enjoying some badass peace within yourself. You may start to notice more when your friends and family pick themselves apart, which can really suck (know that them seeing you grow is one of the best things you could do for them). You may find yourself growing into new friendships, which is okay. You feel proud more often, which is so so so okay, you're working hard babe. You may find yourself standing in moments you had only dreamed of. You're going to change, change is good. Growth is needed to bloom, and you are blooming.
4. Your intimate relationships may blow your mind
When you begin to feel at home in your body and experience true peace within yourself and love for your body, you may find that you stop hiding yourself in the bedroom and you may begin to experience a deeper connection with your partner. I know from experience that when I hated my body, I literally wanted to cry when I was intimate with my partner. I couldn't stand my body, and I hated that he had to see it. But when I dove into learning how to love myself, I began to feel more confident and happy with myself. Which allowed me to show up without fear. PSA: I'm not promising mind blowing sex here, but I am saying that learning to love YOU, may lead to a version of you that doesn't feel like she needs to hide any longer.
5. It's not the goal, it's the journey. Lol. I know. How annoying is that?
I know, I know. Maybe you are like me and thought that self love was attainable once you lost 10lbs or fit into your highschool jeans? Nope. Not how it works. If we can't love ourselves where we are now, a smaller version of ourselves won't unlock the love. It would be nice if self love was like Mario cart though. It's crucial to know this: self love is the journey. There will be days you feel so connected to your body and you are on top of the world. Then there will be days where you're like WTF? What happened? Why do I feel so blah and out of touch? It's in those moments that you use your self love tool box (your resources to help you connect back to your body) to get through those moments, Self love isn't feeling amazing for the rest of your life. It's having more connected days than not, and on those non connected days, having the knowledge and resources to help get yourself through the hard times with more ease and compassion than before.
You deserve the truth, because I KNOW how hard you're working to be able to love your body.
I hope that these 5 truths gave you some sense of "omg, I'm not alone" or "ha, yes I knew that was it!".
You're not alone on this journey.